Remembering...

I was pregnant on this day 7 years ago. I was teaching in my classroom when our assistant principal came in and whispered the news of what had happened. We gathered outside our classrooms with one foot in the door and our eyes on the kids as we spoke of what was happening.

"There was another plane..."
It was then that I first grasped what was really happening. That this wasn't a random accident. And I also realized that this was not a tiny commercial airplane. That there were hundreds of people on those planes and inside those offices.

"There are people jumping..."
I will never forget the horror I felt as I heard those words. The chill that ran down my spine. What could they be experiencing that was worse than stepping out into nowhere, knowing there was nothing that would catch them?

"The building fell..."
How could the building possibly fall?

"The other building fell..."

"The Pentagon is on fire..."

"There is another plane, but it went down..."
How many more were there??

We had to carry on as though nothing was happening for the kids' sake. We locked down the school and parents began picking up their children. Mine was safe inside me, but I wondered..."What kind of world am I bringing my child into?" I still ask this question today.

We say we will never forget and we won't...but we have to be reminded. We don't go around thinking of this 24/7. We go on about our daily lives and when a plane flies low, we are jerked back to the terror of that day and we wonder just for a second where that plane is headed. And we watch it for a second before we shake it off. We see a bag sitting somewhere that it doesn't really have a reason to be and we wonder for a second if it's a bomb. We stare at it and then shake it off. Because it couldn't really happen...but it did.

Will we ever be able to see a plane without remembering?
I hope not...

Will we ever look at the skyline of NYC without remembering?
I hope not...

I hope not...

And I will leave you with one of my favorite pics from that day

Sick Babies

We have 2 sick babies. Abigail especially is snuffling and coughing, poor baby. She did not sleep well last night so we didn't sleep well. Anybody have any suggestions for what to do for them? I am sucking out her nose, but she hates it!!

I also wanted to say Hi!!! to my former student Veronica. Her and her mom read my blog and she sure is special to me. One of my all time favorite students!

And I also wonder if another of my former students Miss Abigail, my Abigail's namesake, is still reading. Are you, Abby?

I can't wait for both of you to visit!

I will be guest blogging on a friend's blog sometime soon. I will let you know when so you can visit me!

Sara

Friday Update

Yes, the third post in a day. Hey, I had some catching up to do! Don't miss the two posts below.

I don't have a lot of new things to say this week about the girls. I didn't really have time to take a lot of pictures either, so it will be short and sweet.

First, I have to point out their clothes

For the most part, when I go to dress them I reach for purple for Olivia and pink for Abigail. Very early on I realized that Olivia looks better is dark, deep colors; purple, hot pink, teal, blue, and green. Abigail looks better in pastels; pink, yellows, baby greens, baby blues. So for this reason I call them my Purple Princess and my Pink Princess. This is coming from a childhood memory of about 2nd grade when all things must be pink and purple. I tease Gary if he puts one of the them in the others colors. I say but purple (or pink) is their "signature color" You Steal Magnolias fans will remember when Julia Roberts told her mom that pink was her signature color. I am sure to say it with a southern drawl too. There have been times when I have actually changed one because I couldn't stand it! There have also been times when I am too tired to climb the stairs to get their color, but when I shop now, it is mostly for these two colors. So I was super excited to find these at the JBF sale last night.

Matching but not perfectly, you know?

Ok on to the magic staircase and the magic table. One of the things we have found sooths them is to go up or down the stairs. It is like they have to stop crying to see where we are going. And the magic table.

That is, their changing table. As soon we lay them down on it, they immediatly shut up. And start cooing. You say "Aww, how cute. They coo at you" Ummm...no. They coo at...the blinds...they just flirt and smile and talk up a storm to those blinds. Z said one time, Oooo, do you looove those blinds? Are you going to maaarry them? Ha! First graders... So we call this the magic table. We even say, go lay her down on the magic table. We are thinking of just leting them sleep up there. No, not really, but it's tempting.

Here is what being a big brother to twins is really like.

I went to get a bottle and Olivia was in the bouncer and Abigail was in the crib. I came back to him talking to Abby and bouncy Livy with his foot. I had to capture it! Check out his face. He is loving every minute of it, even though he is hamming it up for the camera.

Ok, now for miss Abigail.

She has decided not to sleep at night. Poor daddy. He gets her at night. I get Olivia who sleeps for 5 hours straight. He gets the little grunter who sleeps for maybe 2 hours, then she turns into the swamp monster; snorting, grunting, snuffling, moaning, groaning, sniffing, coughing, hacking, crying every hour. I am not sure what her deal is all of a sudden, but she needs to ship shape it up. She drinks her 4 bottles a night. Olivia is only drinking maybe two a night.

And check this out

Look at those loonngg eyelashes! They grew overnight! All of a sudden she has these beautiful eyelashes! So thats what you were crying about. You ok now that you have those? And pardon the up the nose shot, but I did manage to get the eyelashes. And you can see her little tiny strawberry birthmark above her lip, too.

Here is Oliva's new friend
the fish

She loves to coo at the little yellow fish hanging from her floor gym. She kicks and waves at him. So cute!! She wakes up every day with a huge smile on her face. After about thirty minutes of actually trying to wake up, she opens her eyes and just grins at me. She is a much happier baby these days. Who knows why, I don't really care. I will look down in the middle of the night to find her smiling at me around her bottle. Another cute thing she does is when we unwrap her from her SwaddleMe in the morning, her arms go straight in the air and stay there until she is fully awake. It reminds me of that game where you press your hands in a doorframe trying to lift them. After a couple of minutes you step into the room and your arms go up by themselves. I will try to get a pic for next time.

Here she is hanging out with Daddy and brother has to get in there too :-)

So maybe it wasn't short and sweet after all.

Oh, and great news!! Remember our blog to get Oprah's attention? Well, we got a call from her people!!! How cool is that?? Nothing may come of it but we are sure excited about the possible next step.

AND...I have finished making my private blog pretty. I sent out invits to those who wanted them, so if you have not gotten it, let me know so I can send it again. Ahem...Deb...did you get it?

Sara

Just Between Friends Sale

This a great consignment sale in our area. It has actually become a pretty popular thing around the country. Click here to see if there is one near you. It is a wonderful thing that you can sell your things at and then shop at. Good Morning America was there doing a story on it. They set up a camera to record us going in (there was a line) and had workers cheering us on. So it's a pretty big deal. I came across it this last Spring when I was pregnant. I got all the girls sleepers, onesies, and outfits for the summer. Between this and the multiples sale (more about that next week when we have another one) we hardly had to buy new things for the girls at all.

So this time I actually had things to sell at it and if you sell then you get to shop a day earlier than the public. And if you volunteer you get to shop even a day earlier than that. Volunteering was not feasible for me this time around but I will def be doing it the next time around.

Before I get to the good part...it is super stressful. There is a line to get in. Everyone is armed with baskets or tubs. We made the mistake of not having any tubs in the Spring so we came armed with6 (yes 6) of them this time, but didn't think about how we were going to carry all those around. We learned again from the veteran shoppers...tie a rope onto your tubs so you can drag them behind you. Oh yes, they did...and so will we next time. Anyway, back to the stressful part. The whole time you are looking, the person next to you is looking too and could be looking for what you want. So everywhere you turn that person right there could take your stuff that you wanted. We hit the clothes first and mom shopped there while I ran around getting a jumperoo, a floor thingy for them to look at, bath seats, and a stroller. We filled up 4 tubs with clothes and another with toys. Then we got in line and waited...and waited...and waited...wait, wait, wait......and......waited some more. I went and shopped more while mom stood in line. We ended up shopping for 3 hours and standing in line for 2 hours. Yep, that is 2.hours.of.standing.in.line. And there wasn't even a cool roller coaster at the end or the newest movie out. Was it worth it?? Hmmm...I'll let you know.

So what did I score? Oh man! I got all the girls fall/winter clothes. I mean, ALL. Sleepers, onesies, pants, jeans, long sleeved outfits, short sleeved outfits, coats, dresses, I even found matching Christmas dresses for them (score!!) We got sizes 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12.

Here is a pic of all the clothes


More of a close up

Here are some of my fav outfits


The Christmas Dresses


Jumper for $40 ($90 new) and the other for $10


Toys - all for $40
And yes that is a vintage Little People barn!!
Plus, those bath seats that you can't find anymore and a white noise machine

I also found a Jogging Stroller/ Trailer for $50 (140 new), but it wouldn't fit into my car. And can I just say I know we gave the line of cars behind us a really good laugh as me and my mom pushed, pulled, grunted and sweared trying to fit that damn thing in. But no, there was no way it was fitting. So we are picking that up today.

So what was the damage here, you ask? Well, it sounds really bad, so I am going to break it down for you. It turned out to be about $85 per girl, per size. Not bad I say.

We got:
20 sleepers (we already had 3-6 sleepers)
38 long sleeved shirts or onesies
34 short sleeves onesies or shirts
44 pants
8 jeans
8 sweat suits or outfits
6 dresses
3 jackets for the girls
2 jackets for Z

Wow!!

See another post below on how the girls did this week. :-)

Sara

Ahhh, a corner

as in...We've turned one. I can't tell you how wonderful the past 6 days have been. It happened overnight literally. Last Thursday night an angel from above came in and touched my little girls and made them regular babies. That is the only explanation. Gary helped a friend move last Friday so his wife came and sat with me during "the witching hour" of fussiness. We sat and stared at each other while Olivia snoozed in her bed down for the night and Abigail sat quietly in her lap. And imagine my embarrassment when I had Gary come home from helping them the next day so he could help me with the babies, again during that horrible few hours they scream. They slept all evening, woke up, drank a bottle, fussed a little and laid down for the night. ::Sigh:: I am grateful but...

I am not saying that every night has been peaches and cream, but there are no more scream fests with no calming them down. They cry, I bounce and jiggle and they go to sleep. Wow! So this is what normal twins are like. My friend Sarah came over last week and she was like, "Oh, ok, so this is what you've been talking about." And she has 6 year old twins so she knows how it is. But she says her twins where not like that. Of course not! I was blessed, yes I mean blessed, with two high maintenance girlies.

And yes, I started this blog on Wednesday and I am just now getting back to it. I am down to 1 post a week. Ugh!! So I am going to go ahead and post this as is and follow up with how the week has gone and then follow that up with a Friday update. Whew!!

Sara

Friday update on Saturday

I know, I know, Sorry, sorry, sorry. I have been a tad busy yesterday(with sleeping) and today (with photo taking and playing around with making collages). But you forgive me, cuz...

Look who's two months old!!

I have two regular babies, people! They slept in 3 hour stretches yesterday. The first 3 hours, I was saying to myself, "Well, they will wake up anytime now...(30 mins later) any minute they will wake up...(30 mins later) Well, if I lay down now they are sure to get up...(30 mins later)...Are they alive???" So needless to say, after they got up and ate and immediately went back down to nap, I did too. Ahhh...it was nice, but do I even feel like I got caught up? Hell no! I am still exhausted. I took pictures this morning and have spent today playing around with them and making a collage with black and whites of different parts of their bodies. I am pretty proud of myself, but I made them in shutterfly and can't figure out how to let you guys see them. Anybody can help with that??

They went to the dr for their 2 month checkup on Tuesday. And here are the stats:

Abigail - 10lbs 7oz in the 50th percentile
Olivia - 10lbs 2oz in the 35th percentile
They are both 21 and 3/4ths in long, which is in the 50th percentile for height. Yay!!

They both did great when they actually got their shots, only a little crying. Olivia had a small reaction to hers with a fever, rash, and just feeling miserable. She was just pitiful with her tiny little cries and whining. But she is all better now.

They are now wearing size 1 diapers and 0-3 month clothes and have been for a couple of weeks now, but I have forgotten to tell you.

They getting so big I just can't stand it!!


Abigail is still my sweet snuggler. She just roots around rubbing her little nose on my neck when she wakes up. She just forms herself perfectly to my body as she does it. I could just melt into her when she does this! She is getting up every 2 hours at night now and really giving Daddy a run for his money. She is back on Soy formula. We tried her on the liquid gold hypoallergenic formula and it was also a no go, thank God. It is twice as much as regular formula so I was grateful she is fine on soy. Which means we are doing two different kinds of formula.



Little Olivia is getting more and smiley. She just wiggles and squirms when we talk to her. She has started to cry when I walk away. She still wants to be held most of the time, but I actually laid her in her bed when she was screaming the other night because I just didn't know what else to do! She. fell. asleep...on her own. Wha?? Yeah, I know. I am stumped too, but she does great with it now. I just sit down next to her on the bed and she just fades away to sleep and then sleeps for...wait for it... 5 hours!! Yes!! I am actually getting more sleep than Gary. She was in a faul mood for the photo session, but we got a few cute ones.

This is how you know when it is time to stop for the day

We have started putting them in the shower with me and they love it! I wear a tank top so they are not quite so slippery. I, of course, sing my heart out to them and they just watch me.

Can I say it? It might be getting better. Did anyone hear me? Good, maybe I didn't jinx myself. They are not as fussy in the evenings as they have been. I actually calmed Olivia down the other night...just by holding her!! I know! She may be a normal baby after all. Abigail stills need a bottle to calm down for the most part, but I know she is getting better too. So now I will shut up about it.

And guess who started school!!

Gaw, he looks so big. He loves his new class. He rides the bus home from school. He loves it and I do too. We are the first stop the bus makes. He gets dropped off right across the street and I can step outside and watch him and the neighbor girl walk home from the stop. The girls can stay asleep and I can remain sane. Thank you God!!

I have to share some of the picture I took of their little bodies today. I made them black and white, but you can get the idea. And can I just say that Abigail takes the best pictures. Olivia...they just don't do her justice. The pictures above and even most of them below just don't even remotely look like her and the beautifulness that she is.

But look at this...

THAT'S my beautiful Olivia
I just wish I could capture it more often.




Her birthmark, little hand with her pinky sticking up, and her fat rolls



And then there's my pretty Abby






Her birthmark (a little strawberry), sweet hand, and her fat rolls

I will share the collage as soon as I figure it out :-)
Have a great weekend!!

Sara

Coming up soon

Friday update is coming. The girls slept in 3 hour stretches today. Can you say blissful sleep for me also? Mmmm...so I am working on it :-) I have two month stats and some pretty great pictures.

It's Your Love...

Happy Anniversary! my honey said to me as he came through the door with a dozen white roses (my fav color of roses).

Ummm...huh??

My brain raced ahead to September 23rd. I know I haven't lost that much sleep to have lost 2 months!! But no, it is August the 27th...the anniversary of our first date. Awww...so sweet. So like him to remember how we started out right in the middle of the chaos of our lives right now. So, I began to remember that day 3 years ago.

We had met on Eharmony.com. We were matched by the best, seriously, like scary compatible. I hadn't had much luck on there in the past so I didn't get my hopes up. I didn't see it going past a first date but I thought, "What the hey. It'll be good date practice." We agreed to meet at the restaurant then go play miniature golf. I was late of course, because I am late to everything. But I did win at golf. I remember thinking to myself, "Should I let him win?" But no, my competitive side won out on that one. I think I only beat him by like one point. At one point during golf we went through a tunnel to the next hole. I remember wondering if he was going to kiss me. Later he told me he thought about it, too. (I did get a goodnight kiss later.......Mmm.............Sorry, got caught up in the memory for a moment.) Needless to say, we hit it off pretty well. I remember sitting across from him and thinking, "This could be it right here." And I savored the moment because I knew this could very well be my last "first date." It was...

At the State Fair
You know, it's the little things that made me love him:

~He paid for my babysitter.
In those days, I literally barely lived paycheck to paycheck. I could have asked my parents for help, but I had tapped that well pretty dry in the years after my divorce. They would have gladly helped, but I got tired of asking. The ex was a no-go. I had asked him with no results. Never mind that his child support had stalled for 3 months between jobs. That was about $500 a month I was not getting all of a sudden...but I digress. So I made due. Z did not go without. We just had lots of Ramen, mac n cheese and cereal for dinner. After a few dates Gary had figured out about my situation and he offered to pay for my babysitter.



::Sigh::


~He planned all our dates with no input from me.
And this was a good thing. I was so ready to just sit back and let someone else handle all the details. I felt as though I had carried a world of details for the past ten years and was ready to let that go.


::Sigh::

This was when we were dating
he read him a bedtime story

~He played with Z
After about 6 weeks, I was finally ok with him meeting Z. I refused to have my dates meet him before I felt that they were there to stay for awhile. He loved spending time with Z almost as much as he enjoyed being with me. He planned things for us all to do together that he knew Z would like.


::Sigh::



~He filled my car with gas every time he drove it.
Again, he knew my situation and the fact that I looked for gas money in the cushions of my couch and under the bed. One time, I told him he missed my street and he said that no he didn't. He then pulled into a gas station and then I knew what he was up to.


::Sigh::


I found myself sighing a lot around him. Literally, we would be on a date and I would just keep sighing and sighing. Exhaling all the stress my world had held for the past year or two. 2004 was a HELL of a year and no, it wasn't the year of my divorce. That was the year that my ex left a second time (more on that story at a later date), I ended a relationship with someone else I cared about deeply, and I started and ended yet another relationship, plus I changed school against my wishes. Yea, not a good year for me. For so long I felt like I couldn't breathe. I would take a deep breath and there would be no relief at the top. I would gasp because it felt like I just couldn't complete it. I couldn't take in a deep breath. I know that sounds so weird. But little by little I started being able to breathe again; deep cleansing breaths. Every time I sighed, it would be a little less weight I felt around my neck, a little more peace that flowed through me as I inhaled.

He became my rock, my steadfast partner; in love and life. And it all started 3 years ago today.

I have been humming these words all night and they are so true when it comes to us.

It's your love
by Tim McGraw

It's your love it just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder about the spell I'm under,
oh it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am
And all of this happen by taking your hand
And who I am now is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together
I'm stronger than ever I'm happy and free

Oh it's a beautiful thing, don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed, all I gotta do is say your sweet name
It's your love it just does something to me it sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder about the spell I'm under,
It's your love
If you wonder about the spell I'm under,
Oh, It's your love

Gary, my love, it's your spell I'm under. And today, like every day, I just can't keep it in. I am better than I was and more than I am just from taking your hand. You just do something to me and I can't get enough of you. I am truly happy and free. It's your love...

on our honeymoon

a sunset sailboat cruise

It's your love
It's your love
It's your love

Sara

New Blog

There have been a lot of thoughts running through my head lately. I have come to find that I have no where to put them. I need an out, people. A Pensieve, if you will. You know, from Harry Potter. Dumbledore described it - "It is called a Pensieve. I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind" Amen brotha' I would love to blog about my frustrations with my ex, but people who know him read this (I think) and I don't want to cause problems. I would also love to blog about my worries about Z's teacher this year but again...what if I forget and give her the link to see pictures of the girls sometime this year. How embarrassing that would be!! Sometimes I want to complain about my family, but they read this too.

I started this blog for people to get updated on the girls and Z. So every time I go to blog some little nothing about myself "aka Sara needs" or some other nonsense I feel like my peeps in real life are just rolling their eyes and searching for what they are truly here for; my kids. It's starting to get to me. I have stopped blogging so much because I worry what other people are thinking. Stupid, huh? I know. I have been dying to blog about the new "Breaking Dawn" book by Stephanie Myer, but again...who cares what I think?

Ugh! I know, It's my blog. I can blog about whatever I please. But will people come back? Will I be boring??

So...I am starting another blog. A private one for now. It is just for me to journal for now. One day I will open it to all readers without warning. I have no idea when that might be. A lot of you, I would have no problem with you reading my private one because you don't know me in real life. So here's the deal, if you want to be a reader of my new blog that really has nothing to do with anything baby, leave me a comment with your email address or email me your email address blueladybug77@sbcglobal.net and I will gladly add you. I don't expect anyone to want to read. Gawd, that sounds pathetic doesn't it? Ah well...it really is just for me.

I am going to change the comments so you can comment anonymously if you don't want to open a Google account, but please tell me who you are so I know :-)

And attention people I know in real life -- Now you have NO excuse not to comment! You can comment anonymously and just sign your name, so I want to see some comments please!!

Sara

MOM Blog

Our Nest message board has decided to get Oprah's attention by posting our stories in a blog. Since it is celebrity style to have twins now, we think she needs to have a favorite things show for us MOMs (mothers of multiples) that have to do it all by ourselves with no nanny, chef, personal trainer, and all that money to buy the best multiples equipment.

We are also going to take it from the angle of us on the message board being such great friends even though we don't know each other in real life. Wouldn't it be great for us all to get to go to the show and meet each other!?

We know it is a far reach but they looking for mom stories, so we said what the hey.

Here is my story. So go check us out and offer some encouragement. I will keep you updated on the happenings of it.

Sara

Friday Updates

We are doing better (knocking on wood). The girls went to the school yesterday and were perfect angels. Of course, my friend Casee declared that they just love being around her. And it's true :-) So Casee, why don't you quit your teaching job and be our nanny. Can I pay you? Nope! But you get to care for these two beauties and be around me all day. What do you say, hmmm??

Can I just tell you what has made the most difference? These two things right here...

Yep, the swing and the bouncer. The realization that when they are super fussy, screaming, red faced, if I put Abigail into the swing and Olivia into the bouncer...they calm down. Huh? What?? I KNOW!! The Lord truly knows what he is doing to create two little girls who can be calmed by not being in my arms. Am I grateful? Yes, truly! Am I happy about it? Umm...not really. You see, I am used to being what calms babies down. Especially my own. For them to scream in my arms and calm when I put them down is a little stinging to my heart, but whatever makes for happy babies, right?

Another thing that has made the difference? Right here...

Lactose-free formula seems to be doing the trick. And yes, people, that will last us 4 days. What? What is that you say? Powered formula is cheaper and will last longer? Neh, neh, I say. Well, at least about the price. See those little red stickers on the cans? Those are clearance tags. 1 can for $4.54 instead of $6.59. Plus, I have a way to beat the system so I got all these cans for $1.32. No, that is no typo. One dollar and thirty two cents. How? Mmm...I could tell you but then I would have to kill you. And no, no sexual favors or bribes were involved.

Ok here are updates on each girl

Abigail
She has not done as well on this formula. But she really didn't like the taste of the Soy formula and she wouldn't drink a whole lot at one sitting so...we are adding juice to her diet twice a day. We'll see how this goes. She has the most expressive face. She makes all these faces. Especially when she is waking up. I tried to capture some of them. Right in the middle of it all was...

her first real smile

She is also really starting to love to cuddle. Again, especially after she wakes up. She just buries her little head in my neck and sometimes goes back to sleep. My little snuggle bunny!

And just how big are the eyes?



Some other funny expressions



Future Olympian
(please ignore the "death warmed over" look I have going on)

Olivia
She is smiling full huge smiles now and cooing a little more. She smiled really big at Zachary yesterday. Here favorite new place is on my shoulder.

I captured her smiling a little smile here


And another smile for Z here

This is how she usually looks though, poor little thing but I do think it is getting better.

Some other cute expressions of her

Z says it looks like I have shrunk down to a baby since he thinks she looks like I did as a baby. She is seriously asleep here after crying for about 30 mins. I finally just laid her on my pillow and patted her bottom until she fell asleep.



Wow a huge long post! It took me literally all day to do between all the other things going on here. I have to say I am looking forward to the first day of school.

Sara