Giveaway

I SO want to win this thermometer

Target Deals

Check out these great Target deals this week that are free after coupons. I usually don't go to Target for couponing but you can bet I will this week. I love her blog!!

Pondering...

I am resorting to a bullet list here:

~I lost 2 more pounds! I only have 8 more to go for my short term goal. I know I can do it by Zachary's birthday at the end of April. I will propably just start updating my weight on the sidebar from now on. So look for it to come up in the next few days.

~I am a rebal of sorts. I have always had a problem with people telling me what to do. Not true authority figures like my parents, my boss, or a leader in some way, but those that THINK they can tell me what to do; co-workers, friends, strangers. And for no other reason than to hear themselves be bossy. This urge rises up in me to do the exact opposite. It seems as I also feel like this about myself as well. Yeah, I know, stupid, huh? Even though Menu Planning has helped in some ways, I tend to want to rebel against the plan. We are having spaghetti tonight?? Ummm...nope, I think chicken is better or worse, nothing. Then we eat out. Ugh! I know it sounds crazy so I may be taking a break from posting my menu for a couple of weeks.

~I will pick back up on couponing, promise :-)

~I am starting to decorate the house again. I will try and post some pictures of the processes.

~My doctor and I discussed a plan for sleeping. She agreed that I did not need to stand there and let them cry. We will continue to rock them to sleep. (whew!) Since they are used to waking up in their beds this will not be an issue. Then she went on to say how needed to let them cry in the middle of the night, not going in at all to comfort them. ::sigh:: I do have to note here that I love her dearly but she does not have any kids of her own.

~I then went to my counselor who has known me from the time time my ex walked out. 6 years. She knows me...and agrees with me about the no crying thing. She has done research recently about childhood and even infancy trauma. Now here is where I will stop and say that if you did/do let your child cry it out, that's your decision. I am not saying it is wrong, just wrong for us. I am not here to judge what others feel is the best for their family. Since I already have such strong feelings about this, she said to trust myself as a mom. This is what is best for my family. One thing I do believe in is my instincts as a mom. I am reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" book and it does say that it will take patience and time. We have to choose time or cry. We choose time.

~I have been thinking a lot about the time I devote to my computer. Not just my blog, but to message boards, blog reading and facebook. My house is suffering for it. So for the next few weeks, posts may be fewer, maybe not. I would love to be able to come on and do a few quick posts and get off. But then I tell myself I will go just check in on Facebook or my message boards. Then, an hour later I still haven't posted anything. It takes discipline, something I am lacking lately. I have made so many "friends" on-line that I can't keep up with them all! So just bear with me as I get a feel for a new balance.

Catching Up

Update on sickies: Olivia is over the worst of the flu. She still has a lingering cough and clinginess (Is that a word? It is in my house.) And Abigail is completely over her ear infection.

All teeth have come in for the moment:

Olivia has...wait for it...6!! Her two top and the four bottom. The two on either side of her bottom teeth came in before her top which was weird, but whatever.

Abigail now has 5. Holy teeth girls! Her top two came in after Olivia's and she just popped her bottom left this last week.

We have entered into that stage when they are grinding their top teeth against their bottom teeth and it just send shivers up my spine. Olivia does it all day long. Eugh!

So sleep is better now that they are all well and not teething right? Well, you would think so wouldn't you? But nope, they are up every HOUR! Again, we really don't know why. Are they cold, hot, uncomfortable in their sleepers, just missing us? Spoiled completely and totally rotten?? Hmm...no comment.

I am not going to lie, it has been tough around here the past few days. I have decided to let them them cry in their cribs with me right there patting them for naps. And it is just flat not working. Abigail does ok. No real tears and she settles down after about 10 mins of me laying her back down over and over. Then she sings and talks herself to sleep while I have my hand on her (baby steps, here). I know her problem is she doesn't want to go to sleep. period. I can handle that.

But dang! Olivia!! She cries and cries real tears. She finally fell asleep, but she was sniffling in her sleep. You know, that sound they make like their breath is hitching after they have cried really hard? That sound that makes your heart hurt? Yeah. Her problem is she wants me and can't figure out why I am not picking her up. Lord, give me strength!! After her afternoon nap she woke up crying and out of sorts. No one can convince me it didn't affect her to cry herself to sleep. She had a horrible night. And today is even worse with her only sleeping 15 mins for her morning nap AND she woke up Abby. She is whining like she used to when she was tiny and it is NOT good for my nerves and small patience today. Even the magic binky is not working since she has decided she doesn't want it. Really, Olivia?? Really???

I am tired, frustrated, and feeling clueless about how to get them to sleep better. I have gotten past the need to sleep when they slepp but today is one of the few times I would actually like to sleep when they nap. But I don't see that happening...

I could use kind and supportive advice today. I don't think I can handle negative or we should have "just let them cry it out" advice.

Makes My Monday

Abby playing peek-a-boo and Olivia playing cute.





Play along with Cheryl over at Twinfatuation

Menu Plan Monday

Monday:
Breakfast - Yogurt with granola
Lunch - Cheese sandwich
Dinner - Lasagna

Tuesday:
Breakfast - Yogurt with granola
Lunch - Subway
Dinner - Grilled chicken pasta in tomato cream sauce

Wednesday:
Breakfast - Oatmeal
Lunch - Spinach wrap
Dinner - Pizza with salad

Thursday:
Breakfast - Toast with eggs
Lunch - Subway
Dinner - Teriyaki Ranch Chicken - recipe on sidebar

Friday:
Breakfast - Yogurt with granola
Lunch - tuna with crackers
Dinner - Take Out

Saturday:
Breakfast - cereal
Lunch - leftovers
Dinner - Quesadillas

Sunday:
Breakfast - bacon and eggs
Lunch - eat out
Dinner - Sandwiches

Not Just for Babies

I listened to the conversation about what was happening on TV...

Zachary: You know the polar bear lives there, too
Neighbor: Yeah and the penguin

...a little bit later...

Zachary: That's a Panda Bear
Neighbor: It eats bamboo. Kung Fu Panda was a panda.
Zachary: Polar bears eat fish not bamboo.

Neighbor: Whoa! Did you see that?
Zachary: Cool!

So what was this program that had them so transfixed? Discovery? Zubumafoo??

Nope...

The moment it was over there was much grumbling and muttering about baby shows and how they had to turn it off to play big kid shows. I mean, come on, mom. Sheesh!

Note: They were under the impression that I was taking their picture drinking their Purple Cows, not enjoying Baby Einstein. Sneaky mama!!

Think Thin Thursdays

Taking the week off due to major bloat. :-)

Flu has landed

Olivia has the flu. Poor baby is miserable. We are trying to keep Abby away from her but we figure if she is going to get it, she already has the germ since we feed them from the same spoon, and they steal each other toys and binkies. In a perfect world I would care solely for Olivia and Gary would take Abby, but...well...we all know that's not possible.

So we are disinfecting and sterilizing like crazy hoping we all won't get it. More cuddling and clinging is here and it's not just me that needs it :-)

Pray for us.

Way Back When-esday

Timeline: Spring 2006

Zachary's Age: 4 years old

My sweet angel baby all tucked in for his nap.

Play along with Cheryl over at Twinfatuation

for more great pictures of times past.

Baggu Grosgrain Guest GIVEAWAY!!!!

Baggu Grosgrain Guest GIVEAWAY!!!!

Pack N Play Fun

Zachary was playing with his dinosaurs and I am sure you know what the result was with two crawling curious girls. So...he had an idea.

Olivia is not a big fan of this idea.
Her look says it all. She knows she is missing out. :-(

So he took pity on his poor sister.

So much better for Olivia.


Abby wanted in on the fun, too.

Olivia just wants his juice pouch.


So he left them to play.
(I LOVE Abby's face in this picture.
I can just hear her saying, "Cheese!")

BTW - Zachary was dressed up for 50's day that day complete with the slicked back hair.

Makes My Monday

What "Makes My Monday"?

Zachary home all week.
There will be lots of Lego Indiana Jones

Yay!! Love Spring Break!

Play along with Cheryl over at Twinfatuation

Menu Plan Monday

The Oriental Chicken Wraps were good, but I have to say the sauce was very strong. With the teriyaki seasoned chicken it was too much. In the future I might try them again with a lighter teriyaki sauce. I loved the crunch of the noodles with the oranges though. Yumm!

Monday:
Dinner - Hot Dogs

Tuesday:
Breakfast - Cheese Toast
Lunch - Subway
Dinner - Enchiladas - recipe on sidebar

Wednesday:
Breakfast - Cereal
Lunch - Spinach Wraps
Dinner - Pizza

Thursday:
Breakfast - Oatmeal
Lunch - Subway
Dinner - Pre-seasoned chicken with red potatoes and sugar snap peas

Friday:
Breakfast - Eggs and toast
Lunch - Tuna
Dinner - Out to Eat - we will be going to Fossil Rim

Saturday:
Breakfast - Biscuits
Lunch - BLTs
Dinner - Leftovers

Sunday:
Breakfast - Bacon and eggs
Lunch - Grilled Cheese
Dinner - Spaghetti

Children's Book Give-away

Oh fun!!

Jen reviews a great book.

and I want to win one.

Still here...

...just took a little break this week.

Olivia has had a really bad cold this week and has been just miserable. I have it also, just not as bad. Poor little thing does not understand why her little nose isn't working and has not let me out of her sight all week. Both girls are cutting top teeth and sleep has been in 30 - 45 mins snatches at night. It got so bad that Gary took off a day to sleep and then I slept the next day when my mom got here. We each got about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep and it was heavenly.

I am hoping to get back on track with everything on Monday (or even Sunday if I can get it together, but no promises).

By the way,

I lost 3 pounds this week. :-) !!!!!

I am sure it is due in large part to not having time to eat and sleeping through half the day on Thursday but hey, I'll take it. I have lost 9 pounds so far and am about to be in the next "tens" in which I can see the light of my previous weight before IVF. ::sigh:: there's that light, right there. I can see it now.

Meanwhile, I will leave you with some cuteness.

Abigail

Olivia

Thank you

Thank you so very much for all my kind comments. I feel better just for having "dumped the purse". I love you guys! :-)


Abigail is getting over an ear infection and Olivia has a bad cold that we are trying not be turned into a sinus infection. So we are sleeping very little and cuddling very much.

Good times, good times

Thoughts...

I am going to make this quick since it is 11:40 and I feel like it's 1:00. I should be going to bed, but my head's kinda full. I just went back and re-read all this and I have to warn you, it's pretty real and raw. If you don't care to read about my emotional purse dump, then move along to the next blog on your list.

This blog is my sanity. It is the one and only thing that is just mine, for me, by me. I love it and my life is not quite so lonely because of it. But there are times when things just stack up, don't they? I have a list a mile long that needs to be done. Like I know everyone does. But I feel like it will never go away. I will never cross everything off. There will always be something that comes after. Life would be boring otherwise, I guess.

but...

I miss sitting for hours and just reading a book. Usually I go through about 3-4 books a week. Lots of them are re-reads. I have read 3 books since January. I miss it.

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I love my job as a mom, housewife, whatever you want to call it. I do not miss the working environment at all. I miss teaching the kids and planning fun lessons, but I do not ever wish to be there right now. I am so where I want to be. I love that I am home to meet Zachary getting off the bus. I love that I am here with my girls all day. LOVE it. I am passionate about my job as CEO of this family. The cooking, cleaning, caring for the household is so rewarding to me. I don't just like to make the girl's baby food, I thrive on it. I don't just like grocery shopping, but I find the best deal and grit my teeth when I know I have a coupon for something I forgot at home.

So why is the house always cluttered?

The dishes always need to washed, the floor always needs to be vacuumed, dust settles everyday. Every night I go to bed as a failure because something was left undone.

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Sometimes I feel like I am spread so very thin that I am not good at any of the things I need to be. I feel like I end up being a half-assed cook, cleaner, gardener, blogger, friend (this one just makes me want to cry because I MISS my friends I don't see anymore), wife, homework helper, organizer, mom to Zachary...not good at any of them, just getting by. Not to mention that there are huge chunks of me not even being used; like a volunteer for Zachary's school ( this one really gets to me because I so wish I could do more there), church goer (sigh), scrapbooker, reader, decorator... I know there is a season for everything. I know that...I do.

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Another huge thing is...
I look in the mirror and don't see me. I see a woman who looks like she ate me. I cringe at pictures of myself with the girls, but regret there are not more. I have no time to exercise, but can't find the energy or will to do it even if I do grab a minute here or there. I barely have time to eat during the day. If I do eat I grab something quick (and unhealthy). Then in the evening (aka - the worst time) my mental thing kicks in and tells me I haven't eaten all day so I must eat, eat, eat. I know it is possible for me to be thin because I was and I maintained it for several years. It just seems like a long dark tunnel in front of me with no end.

When I go grocery shopping or anywhere, really and I catch myself in a mirror, half the time I am horrified and half the time I could care less that I am wearing sweats and a overly big t-shirt of Gary's with Crocs, no makeup and my hair...Oh Lord, my hair...is really bad. I don't even recognize myself.

I have very few clothes that are in my current size because I have never been my current size without being pregnant. I flew past it so fast during IVF that I just made do. And it's not that I can't go get some. It's when...it's how can I buy another t-shirt? How can I justify nice clothes when they will end up with carrots spit on them?

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Moving on...

Our house is not one that is for hosting...anything. We all dream of our houses being magazine ready (or am I the only one?) We are slowly changing it from one of display to functional. And it's barely there. Our dining room is now both a playroom and a dining room. We were only using it as a playroom, but we feel it is important for us to eat dinner as a family at the table. So we moved some things around. My tree that is perfect for the decor in the dinning room is heading upstairs to my bedroom to join the chair from the living room. My beautiful buffet that holds all my candles, dishes, serving platters, and silverware got moved to the hallway and will be emptied tomorrow for diapers, wipes, lotions and other things we need downstairs for the girls. My gorgeous mirror hangs in the middle of the wall very lonely and will probably have to be taken down as well. As it is, we will have to squeeze past the wall to get to one side of the table and the girls' space to play got drastically cut, but we do what we have to, right?

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And then there are 3 mamas who sit out there tonight without 1 or more of their children. Sweet Tuesday, who lost her battle with cancer and left not only her twin but a whole family missing her. And a family whose blog I stumbled onto and can't even find now that read very much like my blog does; bath time in the sink, sweet faces for the camera...until January when they took their 6 month old daughter to the doctor for an ear infection and then a month later were putting her in heaven's arms.

And then Brook...I haven't even let myself fully go there yet to even comprehend it. To lose both of your children within 24 hours after only finding out about the illness, again, in January. Within a month 2 beautiful girls are gone from this earth and we are all left wondering...Can I admit I haven't been able to make my mind go there? To try to comprehend what she might be going through? Of course, I can't even imagine the pain she is in...but I could. I could imagine it if I let myself, but I haven't. The few times those thoughts have crept in I have had to shake them away. Does this make me a terrible friend? I feel like it does.

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So you see why I felt the need for a little dumping?

I may get up tomorrow morning and regret I ever put this one up.
It may go away after tonight.

Snack Time is Fun Time

The girls (and Zachary) got these trays from Grandma for Christmas.
They already love eating their snack from them.

So serious about eating puffs

No thanks Abby, you can have them all

This picture tells me how Olivia might look as a kid.

Another scene stealer?

Remember this little scene stealer?


I think we may have another one.

I gained a pound

::sigh::

Couponing: Using "The List"

I just want to put this out there. I am in no way a coupon expert. I am just learning myself. It is one of those things that I found to save money and am so excited I want to share it with everyone!

So here's what I do. Every Sunday I get papers and print off my Albertson's list. The list has sale items with and without combined coupons. The Grocery Game even color coordinates items that you need to stock up on and items you buy only if you really need them right now. The chart has a column that shows where you can find the coupon to go with the sale. It may say 1/4 R = This coupon can be found in the January 4 Red Plum packet.

(I will also look at the CVS and Walgreens lists throughout the week. Those are a post all by themselves.)

Since I have cut my favorites out of the packets already, very rarely do I need to go searching for anything, but every couple of weeks I do. There have been those great finds I have missed so it is def worth it to save those coupon packets.

I plan my menus around what I have stockpiled with a few exceptions. Did I stockpile Pillsbury crescent rolls? I will have chicken packets, pigs in a blanket, and other recipes I can find to use this as an ingredient.

Also, I understand a lot of you think that most coupons are for processed foods. There are a lot, but here is what I found in this week's packets:

P&G - Every coupon in this packet is for toiletries, batteries, medicine, diapers, makeup, well, you get the idea.

Red Plum -
Frozen veggies and fruit
Folgers coffee
Suave Hair products
Rice
Vaseline lotion


Smart Source -
Pedialyte
Huggies Diapers
Teddy Grahams
Jello Pudding
Excedrin

And that's not all, I just picked a few that I thought might be good. This is just one week. All I am saying here is give it a chance. Sometimes I find bread coupons, cheese coupons, even fruit or veggie coupons.

Leave me a comment if these posts are helping or if anyone is even still interested. I am feeling a bit like I am talking to an empty room.

Lesson tomorrow

Actually later today since it is almost midnight. I was with my dad today for a heart procedure then at my annual consignment sale. I did not expect to be gone all day, but that is what happened. :-( I will post tomorrow about the awesome deals I got and couponing.