This is from hubby Gary.
Sara went back in the hospital on Sunday. She woke up Sunday morning with shortness of breath. They said she has congestive heart failure. She is doing well and expected to come home tomorrow. She will update with more details then. Prayers would be appreciated.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Update on the Girlies!
Hey all! We are doing great! Can you tell that Gary was the one that updated? There were no details! We have 2 dark headed beautiful girls. They are doing very well. I will post the whole story tomorrow when we come home. I am borrowing this laptop from a wonderful friend, so I don't have much time. Thank you scott!! I did manage to put some pictures here so you can see them a little better.
Look at the proud brother. He was so so excited about seeing his sisters.
Here is Olivia. She is our smaller one with such delicate features.
Abigail's eyes are always wide open if she is awake. She has chubby cheeks!! She always has this look that says, "Where am I?"
Here they are all snug in their bed together. They sleep well together.
Sorry this is so short. I will get more on here in the next few days.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The girls are here
The Girls are here. Everything went well and they are both doing fine.
Abigail Suzanne was born at 11:14, weighed 6.8 and measured 19 in.
Olivia Ann was born at 11:15, weighed 6.2 and measured 17.5 in.
Mother and daughters are doing great.
Abigail is on the left and Olivia is on the right.
THE DAY!!!
We are on our way to the hospital now. Eeekkkkk!
Both Gary and I had a hard time sleeping last night because we are just so excited. It may be a couple of days before you hear from us. It just depends on the computer access at the hospital.
Be praying for us. I am nervous, terrified, anxious, you know, all the emotions that come with a day like today.
In less than 4 hours I will see my girls!!! Yay!!
Both Gary and I had a hard time sleeping last night because we are just so excited. It may be a couple of days before you hear from us. It just depends on the computer access at the hospital.
Be praying for us. I am nervous, terrified, anxious, you know, all the emotions that come with a day like today.
In less than 4 hours I will see my girls!!! Yay!!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Trip to L&D
As I was writing the post earlier, I was also timing contractions. They came every 20 mins, then every 15 mins, and then I had an hour of them coming every 10 mins. So I decided it was time to call. They told me to come on in to get monitored. They did a quick sonogram and hold on to your shorts!!
Abigail is 6 lbs 13 oz and Olivia is 7 lbs !!!!!!!!! Girlies, you are huge!!
They could not get the babies to stay still long enough to get a reading on the monitors. We (me and 2 nurses) tried for about 20 mins. I had 2 contractions that didn't even register because the babies kept kicking the monitor up and flipping it over. It would have been funny if we didn't need to get a reading so bad! The nurses could feel the contractions and finally gave up because they weren't getting registered anyway.
I saw Dr. Read and he said that he wanted me to hold off and make it to Wednesday so he could do the surgery. Awww...I MUST be one of his favorites. Of course, my cervix was hard and closed. He started to just prescribe me something to stop the contractions, but as we sat there and waited for him to come back and talk to me after he did a procedure, I had 4 contractions in about 15 minutes. So he sent me over to L&D to get shots (heavy duty) to stop my contractions. The L&D nurse commented that I was contracting pretty hard, so if we didn't already have Wednesday planned, we would have had babies today!! Wheee...but no.
Here I am at home. The meds make me jittery and dizzy and give me a headache, so that's fun. Z is with my mom and I can rest up tomorrow for my big day.
Abigail is 6 lbs 13 oz and Olivia is 7 lbs !!!!!!!!! Girlies, you are huge!!
They could not get the babies to stay still long enough to get a reading on the monitors. We (me and 2 nurses) tried for about 20 mins. I had 2 contractions that didn't even register because the babies kept kicking the monitor up and flipping it over. It would have been funny if we didn't need to get a reading so bad! The nurses could feel the contractions and finally gave up because they weren't getting registered anyway.
I saw Dr. Read and he said that he wanted me to hold off and make it to Wednesday so he could do the surgery. Awww...I MUST be one of his favorites. Of course, my cervix was hard and closed. He started to just prescribe me something to stop the contractions, but as we sat there and waited for him to come back and talk to me after he did a procedure, I had 4 contractions in about 15 minutes. So he sent me over to L&D to get shots (heavy duty) to stop my contractions. The L&D nurse commented that I was contracting pretty hard, so if we didn't already have Wednesday planned, we would have had babies today!! Wheee...but no.
Here I am at home. The meds make me jittery and dizzy and give me a headache, so that's fun. Z is with my mom and I can rest up tomorrow for my big day.
2 days to go!!
Wow, I can't believe in two days I will actually get to see my two girls!! Yay!!
As promised, I will share what happened at our first peri appointment. Olivia gave us quite a scare.
The tech took all the measurements, but she paid a lot of attention to the back of Baby B's neck. If I would have done my research before we went in I would have known that was not good. So in comes the peri. Let me pause to describe the guy to you. Travel back in time with me for a bit to an old Friends episode. You know their cranky neighbor that lived under them that first season? He looked like that. Stringy gray hair all over and seriously, he acted like he was stoned. He spoke slowly and in circles the whole time.
Ok, back to the story. He said that the Nucal Fold on the back of Baby B's neck was thicker than normal and this raised some flags. It could be heart problems, or Downs, or other things. He started spouting off stuff about an amnio being necessary. Pause again for me to say that unless someone knocks me out first and I don't get a choice in the matter, I will never have an amnio!! Period!!
When we would ask a question he would say, "Well, since there's two in there, we can't be 100% sure of anything." Are you 100% sure you are not high right now?? Hmm?? This was about the time that my hormones were raging like crazy and I wanted to go off on him, completely go ape sh!t on him. He suggested a blood test but said that..."since there are twins in there" the results will show flags again.
So here we are sitting there terrified out of our minds, thinking we have a baby with something seriously wrong. That baby is like 5 inches long at this point, but something is already wrong with it. I finally had the good sense to ask him how often they find something like this and everything is completely normal. He grimaced and shook his head like he was trying to pull a statistic out of his muddled with drugs brain. My heart just stopped because I could just tell that it wouldn't be good. He finally said, "Most of the time."
MOST OF THE TIME!! Ok, let me get this straight. You are telling me that most of the time when this is found everything turns out fine?? And you didn't lead with that piece of news?? WTH?? Are you freakin' kidding me?? I know they have to tell you the reality of what could be, but let's lead with positive news, dude!!
We ended up switching peris and it was the best decision we could have made. They double-checked her measurements and everything was fine. It was a terrifying several weeks though, where I had to deal with my emotions and convince Gary that I was NOT having an amnio, no way, no how. I came close to just running away to Florida. Thankfully, everything turned out fine. Olivia is fine. We even hold our breath at every appointment, but there have never been any other signs of anything being wrong.
OK, some positive thoughts:
I think one of our girls will have brown hair and one will have red hair. Gary thinks that Olivia will have the dark hair because we can see in the ultrasounds that Olivia has hair. And when was the last time you saw a head full of red hair at birth. We'll see!!
As promised, I will share what happened at our first peri appointment. Olivia gave us quite a scare.
The tech took all the measurements, but she paid a lot of attention to the back of Baby B's neck. If I would have done my research before we went in I would have known that was not good. So in comes the peri. Let me pause to describe the guy to you. Travel back in time with me for a bit to an old Friends episode. You know their cranky neighbor that lived under them that first season? He looked like that. Stringy gray hair all over and seriously, he acted like he was stoned. He spoke slowly and in circles the whole time.
Ok, back to the story. He said that the Nucal Fold on the back of Baby B's neck was thicker than normal and this raised some flags. It could be heart problems, or Downs, or other things. He started spouting off stuff about an amnio being necessary. Pause again for me to say that unless someone knocks me out first and I don't get a choice in the matter, I will never have an amnio!! Period!!
When we would ask a question he would say, "Well, since there's two in there, we can't be 100% sure of anything." Are you 100% sure you are not high right now?? Hmm?? This was about the time that my hormones were raging like crazy and I wanted to go off on him, completely go ape sh!t on him. He suggested a blood test but said that..."since there are twins in there" the results will show flags again.
So here we are sitting there terrified out of our minds, thinking we have a baby with something seriously wrong. That baby is like 5 inches long at this point, but something is already wrong with it. I finally had the good sense to ask him how often they find something like this and everything is completely normal. He grimaced and shook his head like he was trying to pull a statistic out of his muddled with drugs brain. My heart just stopped because I could just tell that it wouldn't be good. He finally said, "Most of the time."
MOST OF THE TIME!! Ok, let me get this straight. You are telling me that most of the time when this is found everything turns out fine?? And you didn't lead with that piece of news?? WTH?? Are you freakin' kidding me?? I know they have to tell you the reality of what could be, but let's lead with positive news, dude!!
We ended up switching peris and it was the best decision we could have made. They double-checked her measurements and everything was fine. It was a terrifying several weeks though, where I had to deal with my emotions and convince Gary that I was NOT having an amnio, no way, no how. I came close to just running away to Florida. Thankfully, everything turned out fine. Olivia is fine. We even hold our breath at every appointment, but there have never been any other signs of anything being wrong.
OK, some positive thoughts:
I think one of our girls will have brown hair and one will have red hair. Gary thinks that Olivia will have the dark hair because we can see in the ultrasounds that Olivia has hair. And when was the last time you saw a head full of red hair at birth. We'll see!!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
36 weeks
Excuse the no makeup again, but I figure it probably only bothers me, so. This is my last belly pic before Wednesday. I'll probably take 1 more the day of just to get the maximum volume my body has become.
And since it is my last belly pic, I figured I should just go ahead and include a bare belly one. I will not subject you to a front one, because it is just too much, but this is not so bad right? Now you can see why I begged my dr to get on with it!
So I feel great today! Well, beside all the usual crap, but we actually went and ate at M.ark De.an's BBQ place. We had to eat at the bar because all they had were booths and I can't fit myself in a booth anymore. The manager said, "Somebody's about to pop!" Yes, next Wednesday...with 2!! I answered her excitedly. I love telling people there are 2 in there because then they really get all wide eyed at my belly. They even gave me a little extra meat for my 2 girls. Awww, how sweet. Z has decided he likes ribs and he kept saying, "I haven't ever tasted ribs as good as these!" I haven't felt like getting out in about a week, so it was nice to be able to get out of the house for a bit.
I got on the scale this morning just to see. I have only weighed myself at the dr's office, not at home. I have gained.....50 pounds in all!!!! I was so shocked, because that means I have gained like 10 in the last 2 weeks or so. Ok, so maybe that's why I hobble around so much. I am carrying around so many extra pounds! The funny thing is I haven't eaten very much. I just don't have the room anymore. I used to eat 2 bowls of cereal every morning. There's no way I could now. I used to get a foot long at Sub.way and eat most of it. I am good to finish a 6 inch now. So I know it is just water, fluid, baby, etc. Just look at my face!! There it all is right there.
Olivia gave me a little scare last night. She hadn't moved in awhile and I thought back to when I had last felt her and it was the night before last. So I started getting worried. She is not usually my mover, but they told me to call if there was decreased movement in the last few weeks. And now that they are almost here, I am so worried something will happen to them before now and Wednesday. So I start poking her around, moving all around, I drank a Pepsi, nothin'. I jumped on my trusty message boards and asked what I should do. The more I sat around the more worried I got. Of course, everyone said I should call if I am worried. So I poked her some more, really pushing on her, drank the rest of the Pepsi, had Z talk to her, nothin' Meanwhile Abigail is doing the jig over on her side. This was about 30 mins after I started the whole process. So enough is enough, I won't be able to stop worrying unless I find out for sure she is ok. I was about to go wake up Gary and call. She moved, a tiny little bit, just to let me know she is still in there chilling out. Thank God! The little stinker!! I am sure it will not be the last panic induced 30 min of my life do to her, but dang! I was so exhausted after. The Pepsi did nothing to keep me awake and I slept all night (except for potty breaks every couple of hours) a rarity these days.
Another day I will post about my first panic induced time she was responsible for. This post is already a little long.
And since it is my last belly pic, I figured I should just go ahead and include a bare belly one. I will not subject you to a front one, because it is just too much, but this is not so bad right? Now you can see why I begged my dr to get on with it!
So I feel great today! Well, beside all the usual crap, but we actually went and ate at M.ark De.an's BBQ place. We had to eat at the bar because all they had were booths and I can't fit myself in a booth anymore. The manager said, "Somebody's about to pop!" Yes, next Wednesday...with 2!! I answered her excitedly. I love telling people there are 2 in there because then they really get all wide eyed at my belly. They even gave me a little extra meat for my 2 girls. Awww, how sweet. Z has decided he likes ribs and he kept saying, "I haven't ever tasted ribs as good as these!" I haven't felt like getting out in about a week, so it was nice to be able to get out of the house for a bit.
I got on the scale this morning just to see. I have only weighed myself at the dr's office, not at home. I have gained.....50 pounds in all!!!! I was so shocked, because that means I have gained like 10 in the last 2 weeks or so. Ok, so maybe that's why I hobble around so much. I am carrying around so many extra pounds! The funny thing is I haven't eaten very much. I just don't have the room anymore. I used to eat 2 bowls of cereal every morning. There's no way I could now. I used to get a foot long at Sub.way and eat most of it. I am good to finish a 6 inch now. So I know it is just water, fluid, baby, etc. Just look at my face!! There it all is right there.
Olivia gave me a little scare last night. She hadn't moved in awhile and I thought back to when I had last felt her and it was the night before last. So I started getting worried. She is not usually my mover, but they told me to call if there was decreased movement in the last few weeks. And now that they are almost here, I am so worried something will happen to them before now and Wednesday. So I start poking her around, moving all around, I drank a Pepsi, nothin'. I jumped on my trusty message boards and asked what I should do. The more I sat around the more worried I got. Of course, everyone said I should call if I am worried. So I poked her some more, really pushing on her, drank the rest of the Pepsi, had Z talk to her, nothin' Meanwhile Abigail is doing the jig over on her side. This was about 30 mins after I started the whole process. So enough is enough, I won't be able to stop worrying unless I find out for sure she is ok. I was about to go wake up Gary and call. She moved, a tiny little bit, just to let me know she is still in there chilling out. Thank God! The little stinker!! I am sure it will not be the last panic induced 30 min of my life do to her, but dang! I was so exhausted after. The Pepsi did nothing to keep me awake and I slept all night (except for potty breaks every couple of hours) a rarity these days.
Another day I will post about my first panic induced time she was responsible for. This post is already a little long.
Friday, June 20, 2008
See what I mean?
I caught the two of them looking at the clouds outside. We live close to a military base and they were also watching jets fly over. Not a very clear picture because I was inside. I have to be all stealth because as soon as Z sees the camera...
All this came after a rough day for me. Z had A LOT of extra energy and was just getting on my nerves, just a teeny tiny bit. Don't worry he didn't know that I wasn't "laughery". I sucked it up in front of him :-) But my wonderful husband took him outside for awhile and then to the store to give me a little time.
This is only one of the many reasons I love him so. He knows what I need. He knows what Z needs. And he just steps up and does it, helping both of us at the same time. Sigh...my hero.
...he hams it up!!
Then they tossed around a football for awhile.
All this came after a rough day for me. Z had A LOT of extra energy and was just getting on my nerves, just a teeny tiny bit. Don't worry he didn't know that I wasn't "laughery". I sucked it up in front of him :-) But my wonderful husband took him outside for awhile and then to the store to give me a little time.
This is only one of the many reasons I love him so. He knows what I need. He knows what Z needs. And he just steps up and does it, helping both of us at the same time. Sigh...my hero.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Success!!!! We have an actual date and time!!
That's me jumping up and down!
Well, as much as I can jump; more like moving up and down on the balls of my feet, but close enough, right?
I went in to see my OB today to confirm that everything is on for next week. He was making noises like he wasn't going to go ahead with it. Oh no, you di'ent!! But he wised up when I hobbled in clutching my back with one hand and my side with the other. I mean, 12 lbs of baby on my 5'3" frame is not pretty.
So the girl's b-day will be June 25th. Can you hear the heavenly angels singing? I can, because that means only 8 more days of this, then I get to see my sweet babies faces.
Now I am hobbling around trying to get all the last minute things settled and organized. I can't do much. I fold blankets then sit awhile; put the sheet on the pack n play then take a nap.
8 days and counting...
Monday, June 16, 2008
Peri Appt. and 35 Week Belly pic
Oh, thank the good Lord!! My peri said that anytime between 36 - 37 weeks will be fine for delivery. Which is....NEXT WEEK!! Whoo-hoo!!
Now we wait to see if my OB nurses can schedule it and if there is room. Please, don't tease me, Lord!! Let there be room for me!!
They measured for weights, but they are so off on Abigail it's not even funny. Olivia measured in at 5lbs 14oz, same as at the OBs. Abigail measured 6lbs 8oz. I mean, come on, that's a gain of 14 oz in 4 days...I don't think so. I am going by the OBs measurements last week. The sono tech even said that Abigail was very hard to get because she is so far down there. Plus, that severe edema I have in my lower tummy makes it impossible for them to see through it, so they have to go in sideways to even measure Abigail.
According to their scale I have gained a total of 46 pounds. Can I go by my OBs scale for this too, which only says a gain of 39 pounds?? I like that better, thank you very much.
Oh, and I am off of bedrest and pelvic rest. She said after 34 weeks they take woman off because it doesn't matter. Ummm...yeah...that was a week and 2 days ago. Did anyone tell me I could get up after 34 weeks?? No. That would have been nice to know that I didn't have to lay around all last week.
Now we wait to see if my OB nurses can schedule it and if there is room. Please, don't tease me, Lord!! Let there be room for me!!
They measured for weights, but they are so off on Abigail it's not even funny. Olivia measured in at 5lbs 14oz, same as at the OBs. Abigail measured 6lbs 8oz. I mean, come on, that's a gain of 14 oz in 4 days...I don't think so. I am going by the OBs measurements last week. The sono tech even said that Abigail was very hard to get because she is so far down there. Plus, that severe edema I have in my lower tummy makes it impossible for them to see through it, so they have to go in sideways to even measure Abigail.
According to their scale I have gained a total of 46 pounds. Can I go by my OBs scale for this too, which only says a gain of 39 pounds?? I like that better, thank you very much.
Oh, and I am off of bedrest and pelvic rest. She said after 34 weeks they take woman off because it doesn't matter. Ummm...yeah...that was a week and 2 days ago. Did anyone tell me I could get up after 34 weeks?? No. That would have been nice to know that I didn't have to lay around all last week.
Here is my 35 week Belly Pic.
Pardon the lack of makeup and puffy face
and there's that darn pink shirt again.
I just couldn't resist posting this one too. See that lump on the right side?
That would be Olivia's butt or head. I am not sure which.
That is where she has been camped out and every once
in awhile she sticks it out like this.
Pardon the lack of makeup and puffy face
and there's that darn pink shirt again.
I just couldn't resist posting this one too. See that lump on the right side?
That would be Olivia's butt or head. I am not sure which.
That is where she has been camped out and every once
in awhile she sticks it out like this.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day
I have decided to follow suit with so many others and do "Sunday Show and Tell". What better day to start than Father's Day.
My Show and Tell is my husband as a step-father. For our wedding, Gary and I decided we wanted Z to be in on our unity part of the ceremony. We each got a color of sand to pour together to symbolize our family coming together. The brown colored sand at the bottom is a symbol of our family's foundation being the Lord.
My Show and Tell is my husband as a step-father. For our wedding, Gary and I decided we wanted Z to be in on our unity part of the ceremony. We each got a color of sand to pour together to symbolize our family coming together. The brown colored sand at the bottom is a symbol of our family's foundation being the Lord.
Here we are pouring ours in together
Well, it was a good idea initially. It had rained that morning and the moisture in the air had made the sand clumpy. Zachary finished pouring his way before us. So, it is not exactly what I had in mind since his is not really mixed with ours, but it's the thought that counts right?
Here is the finished product
Here is Gary making his own vows to Z.
He promised this:
I choose you to be my family. I promise to honor and respect you and to provide for you to the best of my ability. I promise to make our home a haven, where trust, love, and laughter are abundant. I make these promises lovingly and freely
and vow to honor them all the days of my life.
There was not a dry eye in the house. These promises mean a lot to both Z and me because we had not had that stability of a father figure in Z's life. Gary is the most wonderful step-dad I could have asked for for Z. He loves him unconditionally. He is such a strong role model in so many areas.
We love you, Gary and thank you for being the best step dad ever!
Just some random things
Little miss Olivia has finally decided to listen to me and move heads down. I would tell her that she has a whole side all to herself if she would just use it. There was no need to be all up her sister's business. She moved, but she is still hanging out at the top curved around with her butt at the top and her feet on the left side. So, both of their feet are right there together. They like to fight over feet room :-) I have also felt Abby move a whole lot more lately. I used to never feel her move way down there but she is starting to get uncomfortable now, I guess. It's funny because my tummy is actually a little smaller now that she has moved. My belly button is no longer stretched all out. It is actually a little bit in now. See how I am finding my silver lining???
I go to the Peri tomorrow. I am hoping she will say it's ok to move my date up a week. My OB is ok with it if she is, so I will again plead my case with her tomorrow.
I moved to sleep in the girl's room in the middle of the night last night because I could not sleep. It is a combination of a cold (thanks, Gary!), being so uncomfortable, and just plain insomnia. As soon as I laid down in there, the girls started jumping around like crazy. More than they have in awhile. It was like they knew they were in their room. I kept rubbing them and telling them they needed to come out and see their great room.
Come on girls!! We are ready to see your beautiful faces!!
I go to the Peri tomorrow. I am hoping she will say it's ok to move my date up a week. My OB is ok with it if she is, so I will again plead my case with her tomorrow.
I moved to sleep in the girl's room in the middle of the night last night because I could not sleep. It is a combination of a cold (thanks, Gary!), being so uncomfortable, and just plain insomnia. As soon as I laid down in there, the girls started jumping around like crazy. More than they have in awhile. It was like they knew they were in their room. I kept rubbing them and telling them they needed to come out and see their great room.
Come on girls!! We are ready to see your beautiful faces!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
OB Appointment
Abigail - 5lbs 11oz
Olivia - 5lbs 14oz
Weight - -3 39 lbs in all gained
Blood Pressure - great
Inches Around - 54"
Yes, people, that is over 11 lbs of baby I am carrying around. My OB said we are looking at 7 1/2 lbs each by July 2. He took a long time with us today. He listened as I pleaded my case to deliver earlier, but in the end the fact is, it doesn't matter how much the babies weigh, it only matters about lung development. He is very reluctant to move it up even a week. He said we would see what the specialist says on Monday, but if it is up to him, nope. Unless I want to do an amnio the week of to make sure of their lung development. Ummm, let me take a few hundreds of a second to think about that...NO!! Not just no, but heeellllll no! I would carry until August before I have an amnio this late in pregnancy or anytime for that matter. He checked my cervix and it is hard as a rock. He said I could carry on this pregnancy forever. Gee, thanks.
He was very sweet and told me that he can't imagine how uncomfortable I am. I really want him to do my surgery and he said he really wanted to do my surgery too. He also said that I was one of his favorite patients. Then he said, "and I don't say that to everyone!" I was doing pretty well to hold in my emotions until that point. You know how when someone is all nice to you, it makes you tear up if you are already emotional.
So, here we are. I have resigned myself to going all the way to July 2. I am still to be on bed rest. The facts are my body does not do normal things during labor time. I never actually went into labor with Z. My OB checked my cervix and whoops! a couple of hours later my water broke. I never had more than a few contractions before they started me on Pitocin. So, I don't go into labor. Even if I am carrying around 12-13 pounds of baby.
I know my posts have been downers lately do to that fact that I am freaking miserable!! Ahem...but I will try to do better. I need to just accept the fact that these babies will come when they are ready and not a moment before. There is a plan in place that is higher than me. I just have to remember that :-)
Olivia - 5lbs 14oz
Weight - -3 39 lbs in all gained
Blood Pressure - great
Inches Around - 54"
Yes, people, that is over 11 lbs of baby I am carrying around. My OB said we are looking at 7 1/2 lbs each by July 2. He took a long time with us today. He listened as I pleaded my case to deliver earlier, but in the end the fact is, it doesn't matter how much the babies weigh, it only matters about lung development. He is very reluctant to move it up even a week. He said we would see what the specialist says on Monday, but if it is up to him, nope. Unless I want to do an amnio the week of to make sure of their lung development. Ummm, let me take a few hundreds of a second to think about that...NO!! Not just no, but heeellllll no! I would carry until August before I have an amnio this late in pregnancy or anytime for that matter. He checked my cervix and it is hard as a rock. He said I could carry on this pregnancy forever. Gee, thanks.
He was very sweet and told me that he can't imagine how uncomfortable I am. I really want him to do my surgery and he said he really wanted to do my surgery too. He also said that I was one of his favorite patients. Then he said, "and I don't say that to everyone!" I was doing pretty well to hold in my emotions until that point. You know how when someone is all nice to you, it makes you tear up if you are already emotional.
So, here we are. I have resigned myself to going all the way to July 2. I am still to be on bed rest. The facts are my body does not do normal things during labor time. I never actually went into labor with Z. My OB checked my cervix and whoops! a couple of hours later my water broke. I never had more than a few contractions before they started me on Pitocin. So, I don't go into labor. Even if I am carrying around 12-13 pounds of baby.
I know my posts have been downers lately do to that fact that I am freaking miserable!! Ahem...but I will try to do better. I need to just accept the fact that these babies will come when they are ready and not a moment before. There is a plan in place that is higher than me. I just have to remember that :-)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I have hit the misery wall
Actually, miserable was last week. I am past miserable, I am just in pain this week. I need to vent about how miserable I am so if you don't want to hear me whine, just move along to the next blog.
I have this pain that goes all the way up and down my left side. The closest I can come to describing it is that it feels like a stitch in my side, but worse. It hurts when I breathe, lie down, walk, sit down, whatever. It gets worse as the day goes on.
I have stretching, hmmm wonder why??, all around the bottom of my tummy and it hurts. It even goes down into my groin, sorry tmi, and legs. And with my severe edema in my lower tummy, it has actually started swelling around that piece of skin that is hard. Nice...
I have also started getting this back spasm at night or when I nap. It feels like back labor, but it only happens when I am asleep. What's with that?? I can actually feel the tremors in my back. I guess it's about time for the backaches to start. I haven't had them at all yet.
All this started in just the past few days!! And on top of all that I have the normal acid reflux in the evening and night, my hands going numb, my super itchy belly, my still swollen feet and every other part of my body, the peeing every 15 mins; Ugh! So miserable!!
Last night was probably the worse I have felt yet. I made the mistake of driving to my mom's yesterday to drop off Z so he can play with his cousins. I laid down the whole time I was there, well most of the time, but it is a 40 min drive. By the time I left, I was in some serious pain, plus I had to drive. I actually cried the majority of the way home. I just had this overwhelming feeling that I just can't do this anymore. I have 3 weeks to go and that seemed like a lifetime in the pain I was in right then. I never had that was Z. The last week I was ready, but I didn't have this whole "I just can't do it anymore" attitude.
The thing is, they really need to stay inside cooking a few more weeks to guarantee lung development and no NICU stay. So I will continue in this misery for as long as it takes for my girls to get here healthy and ready to come home with me.
I have this pain that goes all the way up and down my left side. The closest I can come to describing it is that it feels like a stitch in my side, but worse. It hurts when I breathe, lie down, walk, sit down, whatever. It gets worse as the day goes on.
I have stretching, hmmm wonder why??, all around the bottom of my tummy and it hurts. It even goes down into my groin, sorry tmi, and legs. And with my severe edema in my lower tummy, it has actually started swelling around that piece of skin that is hard. Nice...
I have also started getting this back spasm at night or when I nap. It feels like back labor, but it only happens when I am asleep. What's with that?? I can actually feel the tremors in my back. I guess it's about time for the backaches to start. I haven't had them at all yet.
All this started in just the past few days!! And on top of all that I have the normal acid reflux in the evening and night, my hands going numb, my super itchy belly, my still swollen feet and every other part of my body, the peeing every 15 mins; Ugh! So miserable!!
Last night was probably the worse I have felt yet. I made the mistake of driving to my mom's yesterday to drop off Z so he can play with his cousins. I laid down the whole time I was there, well most of the time, but it is a 40 min drive. By the time I left, I was in some serious pain, plus I had to drive. I actually cried the majority of the way home. I just had this overwhelming feeling that I just can't do this anymore. I have 3 weeks to go and that seemed like a lifetime in the pain I was in right then. I never had that was Z. The last week I was ready, but I didn't have this whole "I just can't do it anymore" attitude.
The thing is, they really need to stay inside cooking a few more weeks to guarantee lung development and no NICU stay. So I will continue in this misery for as long as it takes for my girls to get here healthy and ready to come home with me.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Woes of Bed Rest
Ok, that was a little heavy in the last post, huh?
I don't have anything new, I just needed to get that post off the top. :-)
I hate bed rest. I feel so groggy all the time and I get a headache after laying down for just a little bit. I have to admit, I haven't been so good about it being complete bed rest. I do sit and relax on the couch a lot more than I used to. I used to sit at my computer for about 70% of my day chatting on the Nest and blogging, but I have cut way back on that. So, if you are noticing a lack of comments on your blog, I am reading, I just only take the time to comment on a few.
I did do good this weekend. Gary was here to do everything for me though. Z got home today after being away for 4 nights! Wow! He did really good away from home which I am so relieved about. I am hoping he will be more comfortable going with his dad and spending the night now.
I did not do so well today laying down all day. Z doesn't understand the fact that I can't do things I normally do. He knows I have to lie down, but then he wants me to come and look at something. He even said today that he can't wait until the babies come out so I can play with him. Poor baby, he is in for a shock, but I am going to do my best to still take time for him. I am not sure how, but I'll figure it out as I go along.
Funny story real quick-
Z just said that I am more "laughyer" than I used to be before his vacation. I said, "you mean, not so grouchy?" He says, Yeah. Oh, I was so grouchy his last week of school because I was just so done with the whole school thing for the year, plus my dr put me on bed rest. Grouchy? Yep, that's me, but I will have to reign it in a little, for his sake. Before I got pregnant, I was never grouchy with him. So, that's good news, to be more laughyer. We should all be more laughyer.
I think I gave enough babble to cover up the hormonal dribble from the other day.
I don't have anything new, I just needed to get that post off the top. :-)
I hate bed rest. I feel so groggy all the time and I get a headache after laying down for just a little bit. I have to admit, I haven't been so good about it being complete bed rest. I do sit and relax on the couch a lot more than I used to. I used to sit at my computer for about 70% of my day chatting on the Nest and blogging, but I have cut way back on that. So, if you are noticing a lack of comments on your blog, I am reading, I just only take the time to comment on a few.
I did do good this weekend. Gary was here to do everything for me though. Z got home today after being away for 4 nights! Wow! He did really good away from home which I am so relieved about. I am hoping he will be more comfortable going with his dad and spending the night now.
I did not do so well today laying down all day. Z doesn't understand the fact that I can't do things I normally do. He knows I have to lie down, but then he wants me to come and look at something. He even said today that he can't wait until the babies come out so I can play with him. Poor baby, he is in for a shock, but I am going to do my best to still take time for him. I am not sure how, but I'll figure it out as I go along.
Funny story real quick-
Z just said that I am more "laughyer" than I used to be before his vacation. I said, "you mean, not so grouchy?" He says, Yeah. Oh, I was so grouchy his last week of school because I was just so done with the whole school thing for the year, plus my dr put me on bed rest. Grouchy? Yep, that's me, but I will have to reign it in a little, for his sake. Before I got pregnant, I was never grouchy with him. So, that's good news, to be more laughyer. We should all be more laughyer.
I think I gave enough babble to cover up the hormonal dribble from the other day.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Delivery Fears
Bed rest is working, by the way. When I am actually good and make myself be on strict bedrest, I have no contractions. But oh, I have to force myself to be good and lie down all day. I just have to say to all the women who have to be on bed rest for months. Bless.Your. Heart
Warning to moms-to-be who are having c-sections. I get detailed and scary here, so move along if you don't want to reality of it.
Huge note to self: One thing I don't need to do is watch The Baby Story if it ends with a c-section. It just brought it all back. Since I have had a c-section before, I know what to expect. Which is not necessarily a good thing.
I remember laying on the table, my hands strapped down, shaking uncontrollably due to the spinal.
I remember throwing up to point where the doctor had to stop sewing me up and tell the nurses to "do something about it!" Which they did, leaving me so drugged up I was having trouble speaking coherently.
I remember the sheet they put up so I wouldn't see myself being cut open, but it is also to cover up the fact that I was stripped from there down for everyone to see everything. I can't get that mental picture out of my mind. Yes, my insides will be cut open and what I am worried about is being naked in front of the whole room.
I remember hearing the baby cry but they didn't let me see him even for a second before they whisked him away. He was perfectly fine. There was no reason to rush him away, just a doctor's impatience to get moving.
I remember the pain after the spinal wore off. Most people say they don't. It's all worth it, blah blah blah. But I remember it; not being able to cough, laugh, sneeze without thinking my whole insides were going to come flying out.
I remember them taking off the tape from my back and around my incision and, come to find out, I am allergic to the tape. It pulled off chunks of skin around an already painful area. I am quick to tell them now, but they ask me what tape it was. Hell if I know, people. Just, whatever tape you would normally reach for first, that's probably it, you know??
It wasn't like it was a horrible experience, well...yes, it was. But maybe somehow it won't be so bad this time? What scares me the most is the epidural. You know, I got it the first time when I couldn't take the pain of the heavy duty contractions the Pitocin was making me have. I didn't care where they stuck what, just make the pain stop!! It was actually quite a pleasant experience. But this time, I will have to be fully in the moment of thinking about exactly what they are doing. Plus, I have the added bonus of an over-sized belly. I mean I can't even sit straight up these days, much less sit cross legged and bend over my huge belly so that my spinal cord is stretched to where they can insert a huge needle in between my vertebra so I won't feel the pain of them cutting my skin, muscle, and uterus open to remove my babies. Harsh? Yes, but it's what is going to happen so why gloss over it.
Can I just confess that the closer it gets the more nervous and scared I am of the whole getting the babies out thing?
What it boils down to is this, plain and simple. It was this surgery that lead us down this road of IVF in the first place. Because of this surgery, I would never be able to have children naturally again. So, will it be worse this time? Will the scar tissue be worse than before and cause even more problems down the road? Will they tell us this is it for us? It may be anyway, but I want us to make that decision. My normal OB did not do the c-section last time. When he cut me open I could hear him talking to the others around him about bleeding around my uterus and that it was the most extensive case he had ever seen. I asked him about it later and he shooed me off. He told me that the outside of my uterus was bleeding when they opened me. He made it seem like no big deal. Was this what made the scar tissue??
Sigh...I really want my OB to do my surgery. And I can only guarantee that if I go until July 2nd, my scheduled time, which I won't make it to, even he has said that. So here I wait, really nervous and not being able to do anything about it.
Warning to moms-to-be who are having c-sections. I get detailed and scary here, so move along if you don't want to reality of it.
Huge note to self: One thing I don't need to do is watch The Baby Story if it ends with a c-section. It just brought it all back. Since I have had a c-section before, I know what to expect. Which is not necessarily a good thing.
I remember laying on the table, my hands strapped down, shaking uncontrollably due to the spinal.
I remember throwing up to point where the doctor had to stop sewing me up and tell the nurses to "do something about it!" Which they did, leaving me so drugged up I was having trouble speaking coherently.
I remember the sheet they put up so I wouldn't see myself being cut open, but it is also to cover up the fact that I was stripped from there down for everyone to see everything. I can't get that mental picture out of my mind. Yes, my insides will be cut open and what I am worried about is being naked in front of the whole room.
I remember hearing the baby cry but they didn't let me see him even for a second before they whisked him away. He was perfectly fine. There was no reason to rush him away, just a doctor's impatience to get moving.
I remember the pain after the spinal wore off. Most people say they don't. It's all worth it, blah blah blah. But I remember it; not being able to cough, laugh, sneeze without thinking my whole insides were going to come flying out.
I remember them taking off the tape from my back and around my incision and, come to find out, I am allergic to the tape. It pulled off chunks of skin around an already painful area. I am quick to tell them now, but they ask me what tape it was. Hell if I know, people. Just, whatever tape you would normally reach for first, that's probably it, you know??
It wasn't like it was a horrible experience, well...yes, it was. But maybe somehow it won't be so bad this time? What scares me the most is the epidural. You know, I got it the first time when I couldn't take the pain of the heavy duty contractions the Pitocin was making me have. I didn't care where they stuck what, just make the pain stop!! It was actually quite a pleasant experience. But this time, I will have to be fully in the moment of thinking about exactly what they are doing. Plus, I have the added bonus of an over-sized belly. I mean I can't even sit straight up these days, much less sit cross legged and bend over my huge belly so that my spinal cord is stretched to where they can insert a huge needle in between my vertebra so I won't feel the pain of them cutting my skin, muscle, and uterus open to remove my babies. Harsh? Yes, but it's what is going to happen so why gloss over it.
Can I just confess that the closer it gets the more nervous and scared I am of the whole getting the babies out thing?
What it boils down to is this, plain and simple. It was this surgery that lead us down this road of IVF in the first place. Because of this surgery, I would never be able to have children naturally again. So, will it be worse this time? Will the scar tissue be worse than before and cause even more problems down the road? Will they tell us this is it for us? It may be anyway, but I want us to make that decision. My normal OB did not do the c-section last time. When he cut me open I could hear him talking to the others around him about bleeding around my uterus and that it was the most extensive case he had ever seen. I asked him about it later and he shooed me off. He told me that the outside of my uterus was bleeding when they opened me. He made it seem like no big deal. Was this what made the scar tissue??
Sigh...I really want my OB to do my surgery. And I can only guarantee that if I go until July 2nd, my scheduled time, which I won't make it to, even he has said that. So here I wait, really nervous and not being able to do anything about it.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Tagged...
I was tagged by Deb for this game. Enjoy...
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leave them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was going to Southwestern Assemblies of God University. I just finished up my Spring semester and probably already started the Summer sessions. I wasn't working, but taking 21-22 hours of classes a semester. I had been married for almost 3 years and living in my fantasy perfect marriage.
2. Five things on my to-do list for today
*pee about 50 times
*watch TV
*read magazines, or books
*eat
*try not to go crazy while on bedrest
3. Snacks I enjoy
pistachios, bread and butter, apple with peanut butter on it, ice
4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire
*Travel -- All over starting with Venice and the Greek Isles
*Fund a foundation to help newly divorced women get education and job skills so they can support their family.
5. Places I have lived
All in Texas. I lived in the same house for the first 18 years of my life. Then I moved at least every 2 years ever since, sometimes less. I have lived in 9 places in 12 years. I just had my 2 year anniversary with this house in March. Maybe that's why I am itching for a new house when this one is perfectly fine. :-)
6. People I want to know more about
*My husband - What makes that guy tick anyway ?? :-)
*My son - I can't get enough of him
*My girls - I can't wait o see what they look like and what personalities they have.
Fun, fun!!
I tag Jennifer, Tobi, Susan, Aimee , and Annie
The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leave them a comment, letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was going to Southwestern Assemblies of God University. I just finished up my Spring semester and probably already started the Summer sessions. I wasn't working, but taking 21-22 hours of classes a semester. I had been married for almost 3 years and living in my fantasy perfect marriage.
2. Five things on my to-do list for today
*pee about 50 times
*watch TV
*read magazines, or books
*eat
*try not to go crazy while on bedrest
3. Snacks I enjoy
pistachios, bread and butter, apple with peanut butter on it, ice
4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire
*Travel -- All over starting with Venice and the Greek Isles
*Fund a foundation to help newly divorced women get education and job skills so they can support their family.
5. Places I have lived
All in Texas. I lived in the same house for the first 18 years of my life. Then I moved at least every 2 years ever since, sometimes less. I have lived in 9 places in 12 years. I just had my 2 year anniversary with this house in March. Maybe that's why I am itching for a new house when this one is perfectly fine. :-)
6. People I want to know more about
*My husband - What makes that guy tick anyway ?? :-)
*My son - I can't get enough of him
*My girls - I can't wait o see what they look like and what personalities they have.
Fun, fun!!
I tag Jennifer, Tobi, Susan, Aimee , and Annie
Thursday, June 5, 2008
OB Appointment
Don't get your hopes up. I have no weights for the girls, and no new news.
They don't take weight measurements every week at this stage because mommys like me tend to get anxious if there is a loss of weight or no gain at this point, which would be normal. I hear that, but I was so disappointed. I really wanted to know if they are close to 5 pounds. They peeked at the girl's fluid levels (all are good) and then hooked me up to the heartbeat and contraction monitoring, which, in my expert opinion, was a complete waste of time. I had no contractions, I only have them in the afternoons and evenings. Plus, Abigail was so far down and hiding behind my severe edema place on my tummy that she couldn't get a reading on her. WASTE OF TIME!!
I had my nurse take a fundal height measurement just for giggles and I am measuring 47 weeks! Holy huge, Batman! She tried to tell me that the measurement she took was 33 weeks. Ummm...no, you don't measure 47cm at 33 weeks. I even tried to explain it and she said, "Well, you are measuring bigger because you are carrying twins" No, sh!t, Sherlock. Why is it that OB nurses are so ignorant of twin pregnancies? I mean, I even knew more than she did. She went to put the measurement in the computer and there wasn't a choice of 47cm. Surprise, surprise it only went to 42 and why?? Because when you are pregnant, drs only let you go to 42 weeks. She was shocked that it didn't go that high. Geez!!
Can you tell I am a little miffed today? :-)
My OB was in a hurry because there was a lady who was in labor with twins and he had to leave. I know if I was the lady who was in labor, I would appreciate him hurrying, but I wasn't. I was the lady who wanted to discuss how soon this party is getting started!
He said to continue with bed rest (dang it!). He also said he doesn't see me going all the way to July (whoo-hoo!). He went on to say that carrying twins to 34 weeks was great and they will be fine if they come on now. Well, then why the hell am I on bed rest?? I mean, if they would truly be ok then why can't I just continue on until I go into labor??
He also said how great I looked, blah, blah, blah. Next week I am going to wear an old shirt and sweats with no makeup and dragging my feet. Maybe then he will quit saying how great I look and send me to L&D.
OK, rant over for now.
They don't take weight measurements every week at this stage because mommys like me tend to get anxious if there is a loss of weight or no gain at this point, which would be normal. I hear that, but I was so disappointed. I really wanted to know if they are close to 5 pounds. They peeked at the girl's fluid levels (all are good) and then hooked me up to the heartbeat and contraction monitoring, which, in my expert opinion, was a complete waste of time. I had no contractions, I only have them in the afternoons and evenings. Plus, Abigail was so far down and hiding behind my severe edema place on my tummy that she couldn't get a reading on her. WASTE OF TIME!!
I had my nurse take a fundal height measurement just for giggles and I am measuring 47 weeks! Holy huge, Batman! She tried to tell me that the measurement she took was 33 weeks. Ummm...no, you don't measure 47cm at 33 weeks. I even tried to explain it and she said, "Well, you are measuring bigger because you are carrying twins" No, sh!t, Sherlock. Why is it that OB nurses are so ignorant of twin pregnancies? I mean, I even knew more than she did. She went to put the measurement in the computer and there wasn't a choice of 47cm. Surprise, surprise it only went to 42 and why?? Because when you are pregnant, drs only let you go to 42 weeks. She was shocked that it didn't go that high. Geez!!
Can you tell I am a little miffed today? :-)
My OB was in a hurry because there was a lady who was in labor with twins and he had to leave. I know if I was the lady who was in labor, I would appreciate him hurrying, but I wasn't. I was the lady who wanted to discuss how soon this party is getting started!
He said to continue with bed rest (dang it!). He also said he doesn't see me going all the way to July (whoo-hoo!). He went on to say that carrying twins to 34 weeks was great and they will be fine if they come on now. Well, then why the hell am I on bed rest?? I mean, if they would truly be ok then why can't I just continue on until I go into labor??
He also said how great I looked, blah, blah, blah. Next week I am going to wear an old shirt and sweats with no makeup and dragging my feet. Maybe then he will quit saying how great I look and send me to L&D.
OK, rant over for now.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Perinatal Appointment
Weight - +3 41 lbs in all (I am going by their scale not my OBs)
Blood Pressure - Ok
Inches around - still 52"
They did not do any measurements on the girls today. They looked at their hearts, but that was it. They did do a FFN test and checked my cervical length. My cervix is definitely opening, an obvious funnel now. It is fully open on the inside and has no length to it. I am not dilating, but she did put me on bed rest and pelvis rest, which means I can have no fun during said bed rest :-) She didn't seem too concerned about it. She said I just needed to stay off my feet now. She also said we would not stop labor after 34 weeks which is this Saturday, but I am thinking with bed rest we could still go a couple of weeks. I will feel better when they weigh 5 lbs.
Z has 2 more days of school left and I am still going to take him and pick him up. Then he is going out of town on Thursday with his dad so that is good timing. Sorry, this is so short and boring but I am just beat today. I am going to get started on my bed rest now.
I go to my OB on Thursday morning and I think we will have a better idea of where we are after I talk to him then. So stay tuned.... :-)
Blood Pressure - Ok
Inches around - still 52"
They did not do any measurements on the girls today. They looked at their hearts, but that was it. They did do a FFN test and checked my cervical length. My cervix is definitely opening, an obvious funnel now. It is fully open on the inside and has no length to it. I am not dilating, but she did put me on bed rest and pelvis rest, which means I can have no fun during said bed rest :-) She didn't seem too concerned about it. She said I just needed to stay off my feet now. She also said we would not stop labor after 34 weeks which is this Saturday, but I am thinking with bed rest we could still go a couple of weeks. I will feel better when they weigh 5 lbs.
Z has 2 more days of school left and I am still going to take him and pick him up. Then he is going out of town on Thursday with his dad so that is good timing. Sorry, this is so short and boring but I am just beat today. I am going to get started on my bed rest now.
I go to my OB on Thursday morning and I think we will have a better idea of where we are after I talk to him then. So stay tuned.... :-)
Sunday, June 1, 2008
33 Week Belly Pic AND...my first wrinkle
Look, look!! I am not wearing pink!I got all dressed up for my friend's wedding shower. I was fun to see her and her family. I met her in 6th grade when we both started our public school career. We both had gone to private schools, so we had plenty in common. We were in band together all through junior high and high school. I am so happy for her and her doll of a husband. They met the same way Gary and I did, on eHarmony. We think we need to do a commercial together. Congrats, Nikki!
Ok, so about my first wrinkle. I noticed it a few weeks ago, but it didn't hit me until a few days ago that it is what it is...a freakin' wrinkle! Plus, is it a laugh line? Is it crow's feet? Either of these would show laughter as the cause of my first wrinkle. No, no, no...it is smack in the middle of my eyebrows. You know, that place that wrinkles when you frown. You can see it in my picture if you look close enough. Sigh...why am I surprised? I have been frowning a lot more lately.
If I promise not to frown for the next year, can I have my smooth forehead back? I can do it! Well, ok, maybe not the whole year. Maybe give me a few free passes for those moments when both girls are crying and nothing calms them. I mean, even the best mom couldn't not wrinkle her forehead about that, right?? I know I am 30. I know it is coming, you know, but come on. Now?? When my body is swollen and not at it's best? Really? I mean, next year after we survive the first year I could wear it like a badge. "yeah, my first wrinkle came from you girl's first year, yes, yes, it was time, I was 31, and that first year was hard, but you girls were worth it, blah blah blah"
Sigh...I am off to get some wrinkle cream. Olay, here I come.
If I promise not to frown for the next year, can I have my smooth forehead back? I can do it! Well, ok, maybe not the whole year. Maybe give me a few free passes for those moments when both girls are crying and nothing calms them. I mean, even the best mom couldn't not wrinkle her forehead about that, right?? I know I am 30. I know it is coming, you know, but come on. Now?? When my body is swollen and not at it's best? Really? I mean, next year after we survive the first year I could wear it like a badge. "yeah, my first wrinkle came from you girl's first year, yes, yes, it was time, I was 31, and that first year was hard, but you girls were worth it, blah blah blah"
Sigh...I am off to get some wrinkle cream. Olay, here I come.
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