6 week check-up

My dearest friends and family, I have decided that every Friday will be an update post on the girls, and Z. This way if you read this blog only for the girls and Z then you know what day to tune it. The other days will be my ramblings on who knows what. Thats not to say that the girls and Z won't be in any other posts, but the major updates will be on Fridays. Plus, this will make me update at least once a week.

First the good stuff about the girls.
They are getting to a great stage now. They really look into our eyes when we talk. Olivia will actually stop crying when we talk to her. She has started smiling more and more, especially in the morning when I sing to her. Abigail smiled at me for the first time this week. Aww!! They both stop drinking when Z comes to talk to them and they smile at him. They are good friends already! They are pretty oblivious of each other right now. But when one of them starts grunting or moving in their sleep, the other one will too, even if they are across the room from each other. I think this is the start of the twin talk I hear so much about.

My sweet Z with Abigail
She was fussy until we laid her down with him

Hmmm...thinking...thinking

We have really been wondering how much they weigh. So I got out my postal scale. White trash much? So here are their weights. Get ready to be shocked. I was.

Abigail 9 lbs 9 oz
Olivia 9 lbs 1 oz

HUH?? Where are my tiny babies?? I knew they were growing but I really didn't expect them to be over 8.5 at most. They just seem so big now! They are almost out of NB diapers and their NB clothes are getting tight. We were putting their preemie things away the other day and Oh my gosh how tiny they were!!

Now about the other side of our little darlings. They have a hard time going to sleep because they don't want to miss anything. Olivia especially just cries like her heart is broken when you know she needs to sleep and we are trying to rock her. Abigail will actually go to sleep on her own. Olivia will too every great once in awhile. Plus, they have the worst gas ever! They just scream at times because of it. The time of 7:00 - 9:00 to be more exact. In between this two hour block, Gary and I will be juggling both of them. It doesn't really matter what position they are in, they just cry and cry. We will try everything and it may work in short bursts, but then they start right back up. During this time we head upstairs to bathe and dress for bed. They like their baths, so that is a calm in the storm. They are on a really gentle formula now, but we may be moving to soy soon. Yucky, but necessary it seems.

What a sleep deprived Daddy looks like
and yes, that is a Boppy he is using for a head rest
My poor honey

What the girls look like when they are with Daddy

So I went for my 6 week check-up this week.

Everything's fine, of course. He had hard time telling which incision is his. He had to talk himself through it. "Ok, I do mine in the crease so you can't see it, so that must be mine." I could tell him which was which; yours is the longer one that is still hurting! But I digress - He said it was healing great. I guess so since you couldn't even tell yours from a 6 year old one!

I told him I had had a longer recovery than I thought. He called the nurse in there that helped him with the c-section and she reminded him of the details. It was like concrete, it took forever to get through it, etc. What I find out that I didn't know is that they could not even take my uterus out because of how much scar tissue there was. I guess they take the uterus out to check it and make sure the ovaries and tubes are good. Well, they couldn't get mine out to even do something or other to my bladder they usually do. Ok so no wonder I am still hurting (yes, still hurting, especially after my walk...more about that below). I am sure they tugged and pulled trying to get it out. Ok, I don't want to think about that anymore. Because of this, they could not see my ovaries and the condition they are in. So...

We discussed birth control. Something I thought I would never have to worry about again. He said that I need to be on something. WHAT?? I can't get pregnant remember? We did IVF? He said there was always a possibility of a tubal pregnancy or some other kind of problems that can happen. Ugh!! Really!! I can't even cash in on the one positive from this? No birth control?? He gave me samples of a low dose one. But here's the deal; I get mean when I'm on birth control. I have been on this one before and even with the low dose of the hormone, I was still pretty short, irritable, and just all around more nasty on it. So we may decide to do something else. Not really sure. I really don't want to be mean :-(

He cleared me for exercise, but I went for a walk around the block on Wednesday because it was 80 degrees outside instead of 100 for once. We made the loop only a couple of times until the sun came out and I felt great...until I started hurting...again. ::Sigh:: I am going to have to move back into it slowly I guess. It is so frustrating to me! I am not making very good food choices (note to self: 100 calorie snacks are only good if you don't eat 5 packages a day), so this means my weight is not going down like I want it to. I have been craving sweets like crazy!! Which leads me to...

I think I may be about to start for the first time since the girls have been here. I mean, it is about time. They are 6 weeks old. I am so much more tired this week than I have been, I am also very close to tears over everything. I was watching TV and everything that even bordered on sappy was making me tear up. I had some pretty low moments after Z was born and it was only in hindsight that I realized it was probably postpartum depression. I even got on some meds for it, but I got off of all of them when I went through IVF. Since I have dealt with depression since Z was born, I am really watching for it. I have been doing pretty good, but this week has been rough. So I am hoping I can chalk it up to PMS. I never thought I would say I hope to have PMS.

And I will leave you with an updated picture of me. Let me preface it by saying I am not happy with it. The clothes are too big and I need to cut my frizzy hair. I think I look pretty good , then I see the picture and just want to throw my hands up. But on the other hand, I have come a long way in 6 weeks. :-)

Sara