It's Your Love...

Happy Anniversary! my honey said to me as he came through the door with a dozen white roses (my fav color of roses).

Ummm...huh??

My brain raced ahead to September 23rd. I know I haven't lost that much sleep to have lost 2 months!! But no, it is August the 27th...the anniversary of our first date. Awww...so sweet. So like him to remember how we started out right in the middle of the chaos of our lives right now. So, I began to remember that day 3 years ago.

We had met on Eharmony.com. We were matched by the best, seriously, like scary compatible. I hadn't had much luck on there in the past so I didn't get my hopes up. I didn't see it going past a first date but I thought, "What the hey. It'll be good date practice." We agreed to meet at the restaurant then go play miniature golf. I was late of course, because I am late to everything. But I did win at golf. I remember thinking to myself, "Should I let him win?" But no, my competitive side won out on that one. I think I only beat him by like one point. At one point during golf we went through a tunnel to the next hole. I remember wondering if he was going to kiss me. Later he told me he thought about it, too. (I did get a goodnight kiss later.......Mmm.............Sorry, got caught up in the memory for a moment.) Needless to say, we hit it off pretty well. I remember sitting across from him and thinking, "This could be it right here." And I savored the moment because I knew this could very well be my last "first date." It was...

At the State Fair
You know, it's the little things that made me love him:

~He paid for my babysitter.
In those days, I literally barely lived paycheck to paycheck. I could have asked my parents for help, but I had tapped that well pretty dry in the years after my divorce. They would have gladly helped, but I got tired of asking. The ex was a no-go. I had asked him with no results. Never mind that his child support had stalled for 3 months between jobs. That was about $500 a month I was not getting all of a sudden...but I digress. So I made due. Z did not go without. We just had lots of Ramen, mac n cheese and cereal for dinner. After a few dates Gary had figured out about my situation and he offered to pay for my babysitter.



::Sigh::


~He planned all our dates with no input from me.
And this was a good thing. I was so ready to just sit back and let someone else handle all the details. I felt as though I had carried a world of details for the past ten years and was ready to let that go.


::Sigh::

This was when we were dating
he read him a bedtime story

~He played with Z
After about 6 weeks, I was finally ok with him meeting Z. I refused to have my dates meet him before I felt that they were there to stay for awhile. He loved spending time with Z almost as much as he enjoyed being with me. He planned things for us all to do together that he knew Z would like.


::Sigh::



~He filled my car with gas every time he drove it.
Again, he knew my situation and the fact that I looked for gas money in the cushions of my couch and under the bed. One time, I told him he missed my street and he said that no he didn't. He then pulled into a gas station and then I knew what he was up to.


::Sigh::


I found myself sighing a lot around him. Literally, we would be on a date and I would just keep sighing and sighing. Exhaling all the stress my world had held for the past year or two. 2004 was a HELL of a year and no, it wasn't the year of my divorce. That was the year that my ex left a second time (more on that story at a later date), I ended a relationship with someone else I cared about deeply, and I started and ended yet another relationship, plus I changed school against my wishes. Yea, not a good year for me. For so long I felt like I couldn't breathe. I would take a deep breath and there would be no relief at the top. I would gasp because it felt like I just couldn't complete it. I couldn't take in a deep breath. I know that sounds so weird. But little by little I started being able to breathe again; deep cleansing breaths. Every time I sighed, it would be a little less weight I felt around my neck, a little more peace that flowed through me as I inhaled.

He became my rock, my steadfast partner; in love and life. And it all started 3 years ago today.

I have been humming these words all night and they are so true when it comes to us.

It's your love
by Tim McGraw

It's your love it just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder about the spell I'm under,
oh it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am
And all of this happen by taking your hand
And who I am now is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together
I'm stronger than ever I'm happy and free

Oh it's a beautiful thing, don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed, all I gotta do is say your sweet name
It's your love it just does something to me it sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder about the spell I'm under,
It's your love
If you wonder about the spell I'm under,
Oh, It's your love

Gary, my love, it's your spell I'm under. And today, like every day, I just can't keep it in. I am better than I was and more than I am just from taking your hand. You just do something to me and I can't get enough of you. I am truly happy and free. It's your love...

on our honeymoon

a sunset sailboat cruise

It's your love
It's your love
It's your love

Sara